THE PROMISE OF PURITY

Marriage . . . what a subject. I realize the majority of my audience represents the “not quite married” category, but take heart, this is for you. Before we begin today, I have an exercise for you. Stop now and think of five marriages you would definitely NOT like for yourself in the future. Probably, if your experience is similar to mine, it will only take a moment to come up with five. If given the time, you could probably come up with more.

Why is this true? Why do we seem surrounded by miserable marriages? Why do many couples seem to lose the joy of marriage and become “one of those old married couples” after just 2 years? Isn’t it sad when you see the life and joy of marriage just sucked right out of a couple, and they begin living like strangers, or worse yet, enemies? It sure doesn’t make you want to run out and get married the first chance you get.

Have you heard some of the 101 jokes out there about how horrible marriage is? (By the way, I’m sick of hearing them, aren’t you?) Why is there so much negative talk about marriage? I have witnessed couples about to be wed enduring all the ribbing, joking, and discouragement from other dissatisfied, cynical customers of marriage. “Boy, you sure you want to go through with this? There’s still time to change your mind.” One might think he was being talked out of laying on a bed of nails or something. Many years ago, shortly after I was married, a pastor asked me concerning my decision to get married, “Boy, did you just get tired of being happy?”

Truth be known, my wife Christine and I are about to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary, and are still thrilled about marriage. We have one spunky little boy, Noah, and another on the way. “How’s marriage after kids” you ask; it’s still wonderful. We still spend time together every day. We still play games together. We still hold hands and kiss just for the pleasure of it. We are still each others best friends. We share everything with each other, keep no secrets, and enjoy being with each other as much as we can. Fact is, our marriage is better today than it was when we were first married! And there are scores of other Christian marriages that are experiencing the heavenly marriage God intended.

That brings me to the last part of our exercise: Stop and think of five marriages you know that you consider model marriages, marriages worth having. No doubt, like me, you had a more difficult time coming up with five marriages of this kind. Isn’t that sad? Notice the effect this has had on our perspective. We live in a generation where marriage is viewed as a negative thing. Many people avoid it all together like the plague, and just live with each other until it “doesn’t work out.” Others experience the devastating hurt of divorce. Others stay married because of strong principles, but they are no longer in love and are just cohabiting with each other out of mere duty. Uuugh!

How do you view marriage? I know most of you are still single, and may be years from marriage, but it’s still important. Do you dread the possibilities? I want you to see the Promise Of Purity today. A life of purity brings with it certain promises of blessing on marriage that can only come from God. First, let’s look at an illustration.

MARRIAGE IS A CUP OF COFFEE

Any of you drink coffee? I like a good cup of coffee every now and then. There are basically two reasons I drink coffee: Enjoyment or necessity. Sometimes I like a cup of coffee for the simple enjoyment of the taste. There are other times on a long drive through the night that I drink coffee to help me stay awake. Ever had one of those nights? (Some of you might opt for Mountain Dew; I can sympathize with that.)

How do you like your coffee? Are you one of those crazy people who like to drink your coffee “straight?” Not me! I like my coffee with one of those fancy “French Vanilla” creamers and sugar, “Boston” style. Now that makes for an enjoyable cup of coffee! Coffee is a great drink and it’s meant to be enjoyed, however, coffee is by nature a bitter drink. Even those who drink their coffee “black” would not say that it is a sweet pleasant tasting drink. It’s bitter by nature. You must add something to it to make it sweet. Creamer takes the edge off, and sugar makes it pleasant. Without those ingredients, you have a bitter drink. When you add these ingredients it changes the nature of coffee.

Can you see where I’m going with this analogy? Marriage is like a cup of coffee. This may come as a surprise to many of you, but the basic nature of marriage is bitter. Here’s the reason why that’s true. Two people with fallen, sinful, selfish natures who have had their own way of doing things for 20 years are coming together to live one life. Without adding an “outside element,” this marriage is going to be a bitter experience. One day, down the road of marriage, you’ll wake up, take a sip of marriage, and jump back a mile. “Whoa! I wasn’t ready for this!” You just took a sip of marriage “straight,” without anything added. At that point many people decide they will just continue marriage “out of necessity,” not enjoyment.

How many of you are interested in a “cream and sugar” marriage? The very difference of viewing marriage as enjoyment or necessity hinges upon adding one ingredient. What exactly are we talking about when we say an outside element is necessary to change the bitter nature of marriage? What is that outside element? I’m glad you asked. It is the supernatural blessing of God.

A BLESSING OR A CURSE (Deuteronomy 28 - Please read it)

“And all these blessings (cream and sugar) shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God. . .”

“But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe to do all his commandments . . . that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee.” Deuteronomy 28:2,15

Israel is standing at the threshold of the Promised Land, and just before they go in, God wants to remind them of what it’s going to take to keep it wonderful. In just a matter of days they will cross the Jordan river and begin their conquest of this beautiful, satisfying land. Perhaps we could say they are in “the engagement period.” Spirits are high, there’s an excitement in the air, and no one has even begun to consider the possibility that their “Promised Land” could turn into a nightmare. (No one ever does with marriage either, otherwise they would never “walk the plank.”)

Moses, God’s wise leader (who had been around the block a few times), stands with some important words of caution. Let’s say he’s going to give them some “marriage counseling.” Basically, Moses tells them, “You will have a blessing if you obey God, and you will have a curse if you disobey God.” The blessing included their crops, child bearing, victory over enemies, and a host of other wonderful things. By the way, notice God Himself is adding these blessings. They were not, by nature, already there. The blessing the Israelites were to experience would be a supernatural blessing. God promised the blessing would not only be “on” them, it would actually “overtake” them. Literally, they would be overcome with blessing. (God promises the same for marriage.)

The curse upon disobedience creates a list over 4 times larger than the list of blessings. God promises to curse their cattle, crops, childbearing, battles, health, happiness, and just about every other area of life. He even prophesys that the Israelites would become cannibalistic during a siege of Israel! Life would get so horrible, that mothers and fathers would eat their own children. Now that’s hard to imagine. Do you think the Israelites thought this could even be potential as they looked longingly over the Jordan river at that wonderful new life? Probably not. However, that’s exactly what happened! The curses were not only “on” them, they “overtook” them. They were overcome with destruction.

Israel thought they could make it without God’s supernatural blessing, so they slacked off in the keeping of His commandments. The “Promised Land” became a living nightmare. All the evil that God promised upon them for disobedience came true.

Let’s apply Israel to our marriage discussion. Here is a young couple about to venture into what can be the “Promised Land” of married life. Everything seems promising, exciting, desirable from this perspective. God has given a great promise, “a blessing if you obey, a curse if you disobey.” Do you suppose that it will really happen just as God says it will? Ask yourself right now, “Do I really believe God’s blessing is essential for a good marriage? Does my future marriage success hinge on my obedience to Him?” I trust you won’t doubt it for a minute. No marriage has ever made it without God’s supernatural blessing and yours won’t be the first. You say, “But Phil, this passage isn’t about marriage.” Yes, but the principle of God’s blessing upon obedience is a truth that is timeless and limitless in application.

What then is the commandment I should concern myself concerning God’s blessing in marriage? What must I do to obtain the promise of God for a blessed marriage? This is what we're talking about, the Promise of Purity. The obedience to God’s command of purity, brings with it great promises.

HONORABLE ACTIONS OR JUDGE-ABLE ACTIONS

“Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:5

God promises to honor a pure marriage with His blessings. God promises to judge the impure with curses. This verse is a New Testament application of the truth we read in Deuteronomy 28. Our only hope for a “cream and sugar” marriage is the supernatural blessing of God. When do we need to be concerned about that blessing? Engagement, at the alter, etc.? Absolutely not! The answer is right now. If you will not honor God during your premarriage years, mark it down, God will not honor your marriage years with His blessings barring some major repentance. (Even then there are consequences to our sin.)

In stark contrast, if you will honor God right now with purity, He will honor your marriage with supernatural blessings. Let me throw in a disclaimer at this point. There are still commands to keep within marriage that are necessary to retain God's blessing. Let’s get serious about this now. We can’t make it without God’s blessings, and God’s blessings will not fall outside of our obedience. Right now, are your actions, thoughts, and intentions toward the opposite gender “Honorable” or “Judge-able?” “Oh, Phil, come on! You don’t really think what I’m doing now could hurt my future hope for a blessed marriage . . . do you?” Absolutely! And I have the history of the nation of Israel as undeniable proof of how God will react to disobedience. Obey this commandment to stay pure, or, mark it down, all the curses that God has promised will come on you and overtake you. Just look around if you want evidence of this truth.

Keep yourself pure and you’ll never regret it. You will obtain the supernatural blessing of God on your marriage, which is the Promise of Purity. What a great promise! Hey, don’t give up on the wonderful, beautiful, enjoyable, “cream and sugar” marriage in the Promised Land.